Cry it all out

The past few days I have been feeling a bit alone within my thoughts and have found myself not wanting to be around people as much, Ive been quite reserved and Im actually liking this space. Its peaceful, calm and I feel free. Nobody to tell me what to do or people raining their negative issues and emotions on me or people arguing. But still something within me needs to come out, there is still a hidden emotion that needs to be realeased.

80% of me is happy and I know that seems like such a big percentage so I should accept this and move on but that 20% that is sad lies within my heart. I believe if the heart is 100% happy the rest does not really matter. I know my heart needs healing and more self love is needed but I also feel that will not help heal my heart as much. something needs to be realeased, emotions does. I need to cry out the hurt, once I have cried it all out I will have no need to cry anymore.

People make you feel if you cry when you are hurt, you are being weak, crying doesnt necessarily mean negative, sometimes when we cry its because we are filled with happiness or excitemement. Sometimes we cry out negative energy so that we can fully breathe in positive energy. It has nothing to do with being weak, crying is part of the healing process.

I know my heart needs healing and so I decided to find a film that has family values and a strong meaning,a film that would also bring this emotion out of me. I decided on the film 'my sisters keeper', now let me tel you that film made me cry, now looking back at it, if anybody had seen me they would have thought It was my family going through this issue. When the tears came from my eyes and would not stop I could feel my heart and mind feeling much lighter. When the tears stopped I felt a heavy dark shadow leave me and I began to meditate, say affirmations to bring in positive energy.

My heart is still going through the healing process and Im glad I let out all that emotion as I needed it. I am so used to holding in all my pain and hurt, it builds up and then eventually I come to breaking point. Im learning not to repeat this mistake as when I get to breaking point I disconnect from everything and everyone.

The next step to my healing process is being around the people that I know love and care about me. Laughing with them, smiling with them, talking with them, going out with them. And most importantly thanking and appreciating them as without them I would really be alone, I would be a lost soul.

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