I am not my hair

Yesterday I realised something that put the biggest smile on my face!, For the first time I woke up early in the morning and listened to the sounds of the birds, usually I would close the window and tell them to shutup but for some reason their early chirps sounded beautiful it almost felt like they were singing for me.

I got out of bed and walked towards my drawer to get my toiletries ready for shower time and had to stop in my tracks, I ended up walking straight to my mirror and took a long hard look at myself. I analysed every part of my face and body and a rush of energy and love came through me which was an amazing feeling. For the 1st time in my whole life I realised and have accepted I am very beautiful naturally! I dont need make up, false lashes, false nails or a weave to look beautiful. All those things are nice and add character but the truth is I dont need to add more character to who I am, I am unique in my own way. From saying this does not mean I will stop wearing make up, If Im going out and I want to look glamourous or add a little colour then yes I will wear make up but on a daily basis I dont need it.

I have always had an insecurity within my image, when people would approach me and tell me Im pretty or beautiful I never ever believed it and I would become very paranoid and feel they were making fun out of me really. Or when people would say I have a figure of a dancer and that my body was amazing I really didnt understand as I always come across women with amazing figures who are stunning, I never felt I could compare to them as they looked much better than I did. I have a serial case of looking at women in magazines and saying oh shes stunning, shes beautiful or I would love to have her figure. Now I can actually be honest and say yes that woman is pretty and has great figure then take my mind from it and focus on me by thinking so do I and Im happy with my appearance, I love my body and I love myself.

Yes I have flaws and to think I used to fuss about them so much to the point I was telling myself I was unattractive and when some females would say I was ugly I really believed them. Everybody has a right to their own opinion so some people may find me attractive some wont but now I see myself as a beautiful young woman and Im not really concerned about others opinions on me. If you dont like what you see turn away dont look at it. I have freckles and small moles on my face which I used to hate but thats what makes me unique as I am a woman of colour with freckles and moles. I also suffer from 2 skin conditions eczema on my arms and psorasis of the scalp, my conditions seem to break out when I am really stressed but since I find myself more relaxed and happier I have noticed its disappearing which is great!

My body has a few lumps and bumps, I am petite but I do have a bit of a butt, thighs, growing love handles and I like many women have cellulite and stretch marks lol, I am no longer ashamed to say it and dont let any other person make you feel bad for it because many women have it and some men do also!
Its natural its part of growth. Some people will work out to gain muscle and look ripped but please believe when old age kicks in that muscle sags!
Yes I have started to work out to look and feel fit but its really to keep my energy levels up and to be active again.

1 thing I have to point out to many is that I have my hair low shaved and people automatically think its beacuse I wanted to look like amber rose NO!, I have always wanted to have my hair short and I was inspired by african women as back in africa women are not really allowed to have their hair long and so it is shaved. Many of these women are naturally beautiful and it made me realise sometimes minimal is better. I wanted to see what it felt like to be without every womans glory their hair! and it feels bloody wonderful, I can see all my features better and I dont have to worry about styling my hair all the time. I sometimes have patterns designed on 1 side If I want a diffrent look but other than that I feel I have embraced african beauty and I am apart of it. I have come to realise like India Arie said 'I am not my hair'

This morning when I woke up I played beyonce 'Flaws and all', the difference was Beyonce sings it to a partner I sang it to myself, I was singing to the woman within me, you have to try it, listen to the words and you will feel the Goddess within you getting stronger. And to make my day better yes I had to play 'I am not my hair'

x