Career dazed

Yesterday I attended the Mind, body and spirit festival and came out feeling very inspired but at the same time it made me stop and think about a few things within my life. There were plenty of informative workshops in which good advice was given, it aimed at our well being, health, relationships and our future. The atmosphere was very positive and calming. I felt very calm, happy and relaxed, it was also nice to see so many people at the festival looking and learning to self develop. I feel I am on the right track when it comes to my health, well being and friendships but there is 1 thing I do think about a lot.

The main thing that comes to my mind is my career as right about now my career has a question mark with arrows beside it. One of the arrows tells me to go for the job that I want with all my heart which I will enjoy and the other arrow tells me to go for a job that Im good at and pays well, so which path do I choose?. There are so many great jobs and opportunities out there and I want a lot of them but I know having all of them is not realistic.

Sometimes I think about going to another country and working out there, if I enjoy it then I can live out there permanantly, but is that what I really want? am I ready to leave my life in the UK? am I ready to leave my family and friends? and once again is this what I really want???

My current work is very rewardable but It is not what I see myself doing in years to come and I always come back home thinking and believeing I should be doing something else, something that I love. There are times I get very frustrated with my job as It doesnt fufill me, its not where my heart lies and recently I have been messed around a lot. My job is not as easy as people think it is, you have to have A LOT of patience and be a very calming person. I am beginning to feel that my time is up within that job field and Im ready to move to something completely different. With all the mishaps happening at work I believe it is a sign for me that a career change is in order, but what shall I do career wise? Like I said there is so much that I want to do.

Today I have been sitting and thinking about my career once again and I have come to accept that I need to be true to myself and find out what it is that I really want to do and why I want to do it, then I need to ask myself do I believe I can achieve getting this job and will I actually enjoy it. With these questions pondering in my head I decided to give my mind a break from the career thoughts and go through some of the leaflets I recieved at the festival, all of a sudden I began to have a great sense of faith in myself and felt the need to look back at all my past achievements. Looking at them I felt proud, some of the things I wouldnt think to do now I had done before and achieved in all of them. I could see what I am skilled and talented at and what I have improved on and what still needs improving.

I decided to really look within myself and say out loud what I want to be doing and how I want to be living in 5 years time relationship wise, financially, career wise, life style and other (meaning housing, driving etc). With doing this I decided to put this on paper and turn it in to an action plan.

So I got a big piece of A3 paper and set myself goals for this year, my next step is to research everything I have written down and every 2 weeks check on my progression. I have got a little notepad to put down what research I have done, the evidence and what the results were that way I know I am definately working towards my goal and I am on the right track. For now I am focusing on the career area as it plays an important role in my life.

In 5 years time I would like to know that I have a stable and enjoyable career and If I want that to really happen I need to work towards it now! now is the best time. If I do not take action and only say what I want nothing will get done, I will not achieve my goals. I refuse to have a life where in 5 years I am a miserable woman because I did not go for the career I wanted with a passion. So for now I am on a mission! I will not stop untill the mission is achieved and once the mission is achieved I will know for definite that when you put your mind and energy in to something your passionate about you recieve it, you live it.

Just like the secret tells us "ask, belive, recieve"

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Support system

This month has been full of family and friend events, usually I budget my money monthly and try not to over spend but this month I have dished out money with no complaints as what the money went towards was worth it. I have had the chance to go to theatre, dinners, private event nights and family occasions which has been full of fun and laughter. During this time I have learnt that supporting your friends and family is very important and is a very loving gesture, it shows that person that you care about them and believe in them. Its good to have a support system in your life as it makes you feel stronger within yourself, you also get a great sense of pride that gives you confidence from knowing that you have people in your life who support you.

At times people may not do this for you and I know its annoying and hurtful but I believe that you should treat people how you want to be treated, and the first step is love. Show love in different ways, supporting others is a great way to show love especially the ones you care about. For some people it may take a day, week, months or years to return the gesture, for some they will not at all but I have learnt not to let that affect me as I know that one day I will be rewarded for the love I share and there will be people who have seen the way I support others and will learn to do the same. Not only do we learn from our pasts, we learn from others and If I can teach people to support others then that is a good sign.

I never used to make much time to go to friends and family events either because I had so much work to do or I was tired, I never realised that my presence actually meant alot to them and from me being there would make them feel more at ease and more confident. It only hit me yesterday on why some of my friends would not be too happy with me after one of their events for not attending. I have to admit I do not attend all events but I do my best to attend some of them and when I do this its to show I care and I am proud of them.

It has been so great seeing my cousin perform in theatre as it was something I never expected her to do, the play was enjoyable and she played her character well. The best thing about it was feeling proud of my cousin for achieving her goal within acting and It was nice to be there to witness this and show her support. There was a big audience and It must have taken a lot of courage to stand on stage in front of so many people and perform for a few hours. But the job was done well and I am glad I was apart of the experience. I have also attended dinner events that friends have put so much effort in to from picking a lovely restaraunt, to finding a date that everyone can attend to making sure the food and comany was 5 star service. I know that most times organising an event can be very stressful as you are aiming to please others and sometimes pleasing others is not easy at all! the event may not be to your standards but you have to be grateful that you were thought of when you recieved an invitation and for the effort that was put in to organising the event.

I also found myself doing voluntary work for a cousin at a birthday event which was very tiring but enjoyable as I got to share the moment with my sister. I have not done voluntary work in a very long time even for friends but I knew that my cousin needed the help and support and I was more than willing to get involved. Although the job may have looked easy it was not at all, dealing with 100 and more people face to face can be very draining but I could see clearly why he needed the help, he was doing so much on the night and It must have taken him some time to organise the whole event. I knew me being there and helping out showed that not only do I support what he does it also shows that he has a friend in me. In life we all need a helping hand once in a while and when hands join we become strong we become a support system which is unbreakable

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The special one

I am now in a relationship and I am very excited and happy about it. It has been a very long time since I have been in a relationship and I believe the person I am in a relationship with is thee special one, the one who deserves all my love, the one who will recieve alot of my time, that special one is ME!

I have been single for quite some time although I have dated, but when I dated I never really felt comfortable. I found myself searching for love within all the wrong people and I was going about it the wrong way. I would end up feeling like I was not good enough or there was something wrong with me. It took me quite some time to realise and accept that yes there was something major wrong with me. that something major was I never loved the one person who I should love, myself.

Ive recently taken a step back from a lot of friendships and have made more time for myself. I have started to pamper myself with facials, manicures, pedicures, aromatherapy showers etc. Im doing some of the stuff that we like to do in relationships like treating myself to dinners, movie nights and shopping, while doing this Im learning more about myself. Im learning what I am like, what my strong points are and what needs improvement, I am growing as a person and becoming more self confident.

For the 1st time in my life I can actually say I am really content within myself. I feel much healthier due to my healthy eating plan and new fitness regime, I am loving my body it is in the best shape ever at the moment and I plan to keep it this way. I feel more sexy within myself and I am really loving my mind. I have learnt to express myself, I have learnt to step out of my comfort zone and try something new, I have learnt to take better care of myself, I have learnt to believe and have faith in myself and Im learning to be happy as 1 person.

I dont need anyone to define me or make me feel special, I now know my worth and I deserve the best, I am special and I deserve special treatment and so I will be the one to treat myself the way I deserve to be treated. I have learnt when you love yourself it shows and people want to be around that love. Self love attracts others as you are constantly radiating love. Before you can love anyone else you need to love yourself. I find that since I have learnt about self love and I am living by it, I am attracting happy loving people in my life and It makes me feel good as we share our happiness. I smile a lot more than I used to, I look forward to me time and I am comfortable within my own company.

Loving myself is definately opening the right doors for me and I can see things a lot clearer now. I feel myself really growing as a woman and embracing the power of a woman. I feel the only way is up for me as I learn something new about myself every day, whether it be good or bad. If it is good I praise it, if it is bad I look in to it and work out how I can change this for the better. I believe being in a relationship with myself will really help me for when I do find a partner and settle down as i will be more positive in mind, more loving, happy and willing to share this with my partner. This will be a journey to a beautiful partnership.

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The negative feast

Last week I decided to deactivate my profile on one of the social network sites I am on for a few days, I needed a bit of time to clear my head and focus on my thoughts and not others. This month I am learning so much about people around me, people I socialise with or I am aquainted with. The past week has been what I call, the negative feast.

The negative feast is when you feel like you are sitting at a large table, and you are at the head of the table amongst close friends, family, work collegues, aquaintances and all you hear is negative!. They talk about their own lives negatively, they discuss other peoples lives negatively, they discuss the world negatively and then they discuss your life negatively. They are all feeding on negativty and from doing this the whole room turns sour, your mind feels like it is becoming plagued with nothing but negative thoughts. The negative feast can change your behaviour and frame of thoughts which can lead to many problems in your life.
The negative feast happens on social network sites, on the phone through calls or messages, through verbal words face to face, it happens in many ways.

I have got to a point where I do not ask for peoples opinions or advice on issues that arise in my personal life as I always find I always come out feeling low. People always find a way to make your issue sound like it can not be solved and that you have failed. The conversation will always start with you confiding in someone, usually someone you are close to, the conversation somehow shifts to their life and what they had done in certain situations then it shifts back to you. They tell you what you should do and its usually to give up or fight through words or action, they beat you down with all the negatives in the issue which really gets to you, it starts to bring out mixed emotions. They tend to push you in to letting out anger, tears, frustration which most of us fall for and we end up doing this without realising this behaviour affects relationships, work and most importantly us as a person. It builds up insecurities and causes us to hold on to negative thoughts. We feel we have lost in the situation and all we can do is be bitter about it.

I find the negative feast can happen at anytime in your life, when you are at a happy moment in your life, you are full of positive thoughts and action the negative feeders come crawling towards you. They try and turn your positives in to a negative, they question your life style, your happiness, your relationships etc etc. They are trying to find errors in what you do and really emphasise this so it sticks in your head. Once this sticks in your head it breaks you down.

Some people believe that others do this because of their own insecurities or that it is just part of their character. I have chosen not to hear an explanation of why they do this, I have chosen to not let their opinions or advice get to me. I focus on my thoughts as I know my thoughts are positive, my thoughts make me smile all the time, my thoughts make me chase for my dreams and appreciate my life. I refuse to be plagued by others dark clouds that are surrounding their lives as that is not my life and that is not an option for me. When people feel the need to realease negative words I slowly breathe in and breathe out then I do something which we call zone out. Yes some people may think this is rude but what I am actually doing is blocking out all the negative so that my mind remains free from it all. If they want to talk about positive things I come out of that zone and I am more than willing to hear it. If I do not zone out I do something called looking above and beyond, this is when negative comes out of their mouth I look above their heads, I hear their words but I do not process it. I find I do not process their words because I am not looking at their eyes or facial expressions, I am not focusing on their words,I am only seeing what is above. When I look above I am seeing my surroundings which could be families, trees or animals running around. So as I am seeing these things my mind is at a peaceful place and so the negative words are just nt getting in my mind. To find the inner Goddess I believe you have to eat, breathe and sleep positivity and to do this means thinking positive and living positive. There is no room for negativity in a Goddess' life!

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Hidden messages

This week has been a very strange week for me, Ive had a few episodes that have really taught me truthful lessons. It started off with work.

I work with people with autism helping them with maths, english and art which is a very rewarding job. But I have felt for quite some time that this is not the career path I want, I would come back from work and feel like I should be doing something completely different, something I know I want to do with all my heart and that I will love. On 3 occassions I found myself arriving at work to find I was not needed that day as someone else was doing my role or people were off sick and so I would end up having to go back home. Every time I walked in to work I would get a strange feeling like something or somebody was trying to tell me something and once I arrived at work I would get the news.

The next episode has been friendships, recently I have been ending friendships that I now know were not good for me, In the space of 3 weeks certain people I thought to be my friends have randomly contacted me and showed me very negative traits within themselves. There was envy, jealousy, discrimination, judgement and blame. I had never expected to hear what came out of their mouths and I knew right then our friendship would be no more. When their names appeared on my phone and in my messages that feeling came back straight away before I even responded. Something was telling me these are the people to let go, I usually find it very hard to let go of friendships but this time It felt right and now I feel so much better. Its like a big ball of negative energy had been erased.

My 3rd episode has been certain friends, I find when Im having me time a name of someone I know will appear through signs on adverts, websites, shop signs etc. I found it strange at first but then whenever I went on to a social network site that I am on their image will be the 1st image to appear on my home page or they have written me a message. It feels so surreal as before I see the signs I happen to be thinking of that person and the name will start to appear in so many places. At times when this would happen I would get a phone call from them or a message. Now if these are not signs then I dont know what is!

I seem to be getting this feeling quite a lot recently and it tends to happen when Im daydreaming or travelling somewhere. Signs will appear or written quotes that seem to snap me out of my thoughts. My thoughts are being answered in these signs and quotes and I find myself really focusing on it. I feel that somebody is communicating with me on a deeper level through hidden messages. I decided to do a bit more resarch on this to getter a better understanding on what this whole feeling means and this is what I found:

Decoding Spiritual Messages On the universe's wavelength:
Our daily lives are filled with spiritual messages and signs designed just for us. They appear on our path to teach us lessons, to help us make decisions, or simply to give us a preview of things to come. They can show us if we're headed in the right direction, or nudge us to change course if the road we're on no longer serves our best interests. But before we can reap the full benefits of these helpful messages and signs, we have to learn how to recognize them.

Since they're hardly ever loud or intrusive, they can be quite easy to ignore or overlook. But the more we pay attention to our surroundings and cultivate our powers of observation, the more we start to see useful information all around us. We are in constant communication with the universe -- it never stops sending us guidance and assistance.

Here are some instances when signs and spiritual messages are particularly easy to spot:

1. While Driving or Walking - What you see along the road is often an indication of what's happening on a larger scale on your life path. For example, witnessing an accident while driving is usually a message to slow down the pace of your life. Or seeing a glove on the sidewalk can reassure you that support is on the way, since a glove often signifies a helping hand.

2. Through Music - The meaning of the song might apply directly to your life in some way, perhaps to give you strength, offer clarity about a decision, or just to remind you that other people have dealt with the same issues you're facing now.

3. Overheard Conversations - If you overhear a woman on the phone talking about how she can't wait for her upcoming trip to Italy, take heed. Maybe you're meant to take a vacation yourself, or simply to add more activities to your life that fill you with excitement and anticipation.

4. Clock Patterns - Different numbers have different meanings, so if you 'happen to' see the same numbers repeatedly, one of our many skilled psychics can help you figure out why.

5. Home Repairs - A problem with your home can be a sign that your inner house could use some extra care as well. Water is a metaphor for our emotions, so a leaky roof or a plumbing problem can mean that you're feeling emotionally overwhelmed. A clogged drain might signify you have a suppressed issue or blocked emotion inside, and the time has come to let it go.

6. Extraordinary Circumstances - Sometimes an incident or combination of incidents makes you stand up and take notice. You can't stop thinking about your European ex-boyfriend you haven't spoken to in years, and he calls the next day. Or you're trying to decide whether to move to Miami or New York, and you see a car with a New York license plate right in front of you ... immediately after a radio commercial mentions New York, and twenty minutes later, you meet a guy in line at a cafe from, you guessed it: New York.

Spiritually enlightened

For the past few months I have been going through a very powerful stage in my life, my body and mind is really changing and I believe for the better. I have been seeing and doing things that I dont normally do which at one point caused me to suffer from anxiety attacks. I have become emotional and cry over things that I usually wouldnt cry over, my skin has started breaking out and I find myself doing activities and eating foods I hated! It wasnt until 1 day my anxiety got so bad that I passed out. Once this happened I knew I needed help, It was frustrating me that I didnt know what was happening to my body and why was I beginning to love so much around me including the things I never used to like.

I started off with kinseology sessions which really helped me learn where my blocks were and I had them removed. My kinesiologist done a great job and was able to tell me of things that were causing blocks and suprisingly she was very right. She mentioned things that I knew which I didnt want to accept and because I wasnt accepting it, it was effecting my body. After completing the sessions I felt so much better!, I was introduced to healing stones which has really helped make a difference in my life.

But after a few weeks I noticed my skin breakouts would still continue, craving for foods I never liked continued, my emotions were still coming out and I was always in deep thought. I could feel myself looking at life and the world differently, I felt like I was becoming wiser, stronger, happier and content with where I am in life. Good things were happening for me which had me overwhelmed, shocked and excited.

Still I felt I was not getting my answer on what is happening to me and It would bother me because nobody I knew was having the same experience and didnt understand what I was talking about. I felt alone and like I was going crazy to the point I didnt want to be around anyone anymore. So I decided to do some research on the internet yesterday. I googled all my symptoms and to my suprise what came up really had me shocked, on my screen appeared "spiritual awakening", so I clicked in to all of the links and it was amazing seeing all the people that were going through all the exact same feelings as me. I felt relief as I am not alone, reading more about spiritual awakening opened my eyes and I can say I do believe I am definately going through spiritual enlightenment. What others were learning, seeing and feeling I can relate to and it is a wonderful feeling. For the past 2 months I felt I was becoming spiritually connected but I wasnt too sure, now I am and Im loving this change.

These are the signs of spiritual enlightenment I was able to find on a mind,body,soul site:
1. Emotional rollercoaster
You may find yourself touched and on the verge of tears more often than usual. Crying at the drop of a hat over the news or a display of sentiment that you would not have cried over before is common. You may also find yourself to be more aggressive or angry with people. Some days you will feel depressed and other days full of joy. You truly feel the full range of emotions and yes it is draining, but it's happening for a reason. Stay present to the feelings, feel them fully and they will pass.

2. Stronger connection to nature
Previously your attitude to nature may have been "take it or leave it". Now, you have a deep appreciation for all of nature, the colours and the shapes. You start to welcome the seasons whereas you used to dread winter. You may also start to like animals you never liked before. I developed a love of cats, much to the amusement of my friends who knew I couldn't stand them before. You're changing and becoming more accepting of things for what they are.

3. Changes in energy levels
One day you are bouncing off the walls, another day you can't even get out of bed! You've got to roll with this one as much as you can. Sleep, rest or chill on the down days and flow with the energy on the high days. Try and eat healthily and try not to stress or feel guilty, it will stabilise.

4. A feeling that something has changed within you
You simply feel different, you may not look any different but you know something has changed internally. Your old ways are falling by the wayside and the real you is starting to emerge.

5. Sudden awareness of recurring patterns or relationships
You may have been living out the same old patterns for decades but suddenly you become aware of it. You may realise that you always destroy what you create, always pick unavailable partners or always attract dependant people - the list is endless. This is great, becoming aware is the first step in eradicating it.

6. Food intolerances, allergies and cravings
As you are becoming more sensitive to energy, your body may start to react to foods you have always eaten and/or you may start to crave something different. The intolerances and allergies may not be permanent so remove them from your diet for a few months and try again later. The cravings may be what your body needs so go with it and trust your body to communicate what it requires.

7. A desire to "find yourself", change your social group, behaviour, job etc.
Your material needs have been met and there is still a longing for more. You may start to question who you really are and start to see that your current life may not have been a conscious choice and is more of a by product. Before you can consciously choose you may find yourself stripping away layers to reconnect with you, the spiritual you.

8. An increase in occurrences of coincidence
Better known as synchronicity, favourable people and beneficial circumstance start to appear with exactly what you need. Answers to questions are revealed to you through signs and messages. Synchronicity is a sign you are on the right track and that you are aware of these miracles happening around you. The more you notice and take heed, the more they appear so show appreciation for the guidance you are receiving.

9. Quicker manifestations
Spiritual awakening raises your vibration; this involves a release of blockages which allows abundance to flow to you. Being in alignment with a higher vibration results in quicker and more beneficial manifestations to be received by you. Be aware of your thoughts so you get what you really want or better.

10. A change in what you read, hobbies etc
You are changing for the better; you are heading for a life of deeper fulfilment and purpose. As you do you will find different ways to pass the time and may not enjoy things you have always done as much anymore. It's fine, new pastimes will interest you just be open to what comes your way.
Change and growth are taking place; the discomfort you experience is increased by resistance. Know that all is exactly as it should be and you are having the human experience of growth, let go and roll with it. When discomfort strikes, ask yourself where or what you are resisting and let it go. They say the darkest part of the night is just before dawn so know that it's for good.

And so If you are going through this remember your not alone and to embrace it as your life is going to get so much better
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Bonding

The Bank holiday weekend has just gone and it was a fun packed weekend for myself. As women I find at times we dont balance our lives we commit to 1 or 2 things only. A strong point about myself Is balance, I always have time for work, family, friends and myself. This weekend was family, friends and me time. I never realised how good it is to be in the company of other females sometimes, sometimes Its good to let go of you and just go out, have a laugh, have girl talk.

My cousin is getting married and so myself and my sisters arranged a day of wedding planning. My cousin is the same age as me and happens to be my god sister, friends have asked me do I feel any envy or jealousy towards her....the truth is not at all!, I am so happy for her and she is an inspiration to me. It made me look at my own life and I know 100% that 1 day I will get married. Seeing the joy and excitement in her face brought out the same feelings in me. Although I am not in a relationship it gave me more of an insight on how relationships can develop and I want that. I want to form a relationship 1 day which will lead in to marriage and children. My sisters and I will be bridesmaids and I am honoured at that, I cant wait for the big day!. For the day we went out for dinner, chatted about hen nights, honeymoons, the wedding and It was so much fun. We went out looking for shoes and accesories. The highlight of the day was going back down memory lane, reminiscing on when we were young and the mischief we used to get up to. It was nice seeing our faces lightt up and laugh at some of the things we used to do and It is amazing to see how we have grown in to women. The best part of the day was being together and having that bonding time, It really takes your mind away from work, home etc.

My weekend also included a birthday party with a friend who myself and my sisters class as a sister, it was nice to be with her and her close family. We sat and talked, ate good food, had a laugh, had girly talk. All in all it was a lovely evening.

These 2 events made me go home and really think about my life, I am so thankful to have these people in my life, people who are family, people I can talk to and laugh with. Its occassions like this at times we shut out for our partners or work, when really we should make time for family. we should be able to make time for a lot of things in life as in all honesty these precious things can be taken away from us in a second. I love and appreciate my family and I love the fact that we are expanding. Looking back at all the fun we had in just 2 days filled my heart with joy and I am so happy that I was apart of it.

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Religion and Spirituality

A few days ago I became very emotional and felt a lot of pressure and this was down to religion verses spirituality. I have a few friends who have found religions that they strongly believe in being the nation of islam, pentecostal and christian. I was happy to hear that they have found something to believe in but then it felt like all eyes were on me. My friends began to preach to me about their religions and were trying to persuade me to join their religion but what they may have not realised is that they were really forcing their religion on me. It became their everyday conversation trying to get me to believe in what they believe in. It got so bad it felt like I was being attacked, the conversations became very draining.

I personally have been brought up as a catholic but as time went by my thoughts and views began to change, I am now at a point where I am a christian but I do not preach and I do not attend church. I believe when it comes to religion you will find your own way and you will find what you really believe in. I believe religion is a journey and is a similar journey to spirituality. Religion should not be forced on you. I believe in God and pray every night but as I have become older I am more spiritual and have recently had a spiritual connection. Since having the connection I feel complete, I feel happier and I am loving my life and this world. I only see the positive.

Some of my friends dont agree with my spiritual beliefs and insist on me sharing the same beliefs as them, It came to the point they were telling me Im confused, Im being decieved by the devil etc etc etc. I had to end the conversation immediately!
If I am your friend and I can accept your beliefs and not pass judgement, I believe you should be able to do the same thing for me. I am at a happy point in my life and If others fail to see that they are playing blind to what is true and what is real.
Their words is what really hurt me as Its not something I expected to come from a friend but It took a conversation with my sister and 2 of my close friends to realise and accept that as we get older sometimes we out grow our friendships, our frame of minds change and we may not still have that connection we once used to have. Sometimes its best to let this friend go as the friendship has drifted apart. We are no longer in tune with one another but this is where new friendships come in and it will be a time for a new adventure. Religion is not for everyone and the more you force religion on someone the more it back fires. Hearing this made me learn a lot and while thinking and processing these words I realised I should not have let their words get to me at all, I am happy with my beliefs and I feel my beliefs have made me a better and happier person.

I meditate and say affirmations daily, I smile more than I used to and I appreciate my life and everything/ everyone in my life. I see beauty in the world and I celebrate it every day of my life. I am happy with my beliefs and I will not change it at all. Im where I want to be!

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