Super Parent

The past few weeks I have been in deep thought about a topic that seems to be talked about all the time in such a negative way......................SINGLE PARENTS

I have never quite understood how people can judge someone for being a lone parent, immediately when you hear single parent people assume they live in a very poor community, they live off government money, they have no goals, their children grow up to be trouble makers and they have a lot of self anger. Now this is what I call a false created image of what a single parent is.

Being a parent full stop is very hard, there is so much to consider when bringing up a child, so many sacrifices are made. Your life completely changes. People feel with a mother and father a child lives a better life but the truth is this is not always the case. Parents argue, parents have disagreements and their are some families that go through mental abuse or physical abuse......is this a good life for a child? Not all families with both parents are perfect, but society wants everyone to believe it is and more problem areas are within single parent families.

The difference with having both parents and 1 parent is, to have both parents they have someone to make decisions with, and there is another person responsible for the childs upbringing. With a lone parent they make all the decisions by themselves and have full responsibility of their childs uprbringing..............do you really think this is easy????

When it comes to single parents I feel people need to stop and really look at the title SINGLE, LONE and realise what these parents are doing is truly amazing! as they are doing it aLONE. To raise a child financially, emotionally, physically and mentally by yourself is a major challenge. What people fail to realise is that some of these parents have dreams and goals and some of them really go for it! to do this and support a child by yourself, you deserve so much respect. Yes there are a few that give up but do you not think that is because they find it so hard doing it alone? does that mean we should judge them and make them feel worthless?

Instead of us showing lone parents more support we label them and give them a description which is so wrong! not every lone parent is the same, although they are single parents they have their own personalities, their own views on life so who are we to judge?! and lets not forget most lone parents do not want to be a lone parent, it is because of a situation that they are now lone parents. In most cases its due to a parent not wanting to be apart of the childs life, a break up in the relationship, domestic violence, a parent not really being supportive, a parent being mentally unstable or in prison.

Now I find it very wrong to blame all problems within the community on single parents, just because you are lone parent does not mean you will raise your child to be a bully to society or your child will be uneducated. Yes it is more of a struggle to raise your child financially but there are some wealthy people out there who have notorious children who are involved in drugs and crime. Crime comes from all backgrounds; rich, poor, black, white, asian, single parents, partnered etc. How you raise your child is your choice, we all know how we want our children to be raised or how we want them to live but it doesnt always work this way. people need to be aware that once a child is out of their parents sight they tend to play a different character due to peer pressure, this is not the parents fault. If you want to blame someone blame the government for taking away so many community clubs for children which was helping them focus on something positive instead of being on the streets up to no good. Give a child something enjoyable to do and thats where there focus will be.

I have a few friends who are single parents and are brilliant parents! they work, drive, make time for friends and family and their kids always come first. There are many celebrities who are lone parents and have successful careers for example Elle Macpherson, Jodie Foster, Lisa Raye, Minnie Driver, Sandra Bullock, Cheryl Crow, Ricky Martin. People are so quick to judge without getting to know what it is to really be a single/lone parent. It means exactly what it says a parent doing it alone, a parent playing both roles which is not easy at all.

I personally have so much love, respect and support towards single parents. In my eyes your SUPER PARENT! and I applaud you for your hardwork in supporting your child/ children and yourself by yourself!

x

Body beautiful or body confused?

I recently came across a video of a reality tv star Heidi Montag who not so long ago had 10 or more surgical procedures in 1 day. Her frame of mind has changed from how she first felt about surgery and I feel the need to express my thoughts on this topic. As a woman myself I feel women in general are put under so much pressure to have the image of the ideal woman. But the major question is "what is the ideal woman?"

There was a point in my life where I really wanted breast implants and went crazy searching for the best plastic surgeons in the UK. I thought If I had bigger boobs I would feel more womanly, now I ask myself who gave me the thought that having big boobs makes you more womanly? I continuously watched videos on breast enlargement and the more I watched the more I became concerned about the risks. I eventually researched womens after results and to my surprise there were quite a few negative that really put me off and since then I have permanently ruled out surgery for myself.

When I watched extreme makeovers I would have been 1 of the first to judge women who go through these surgeries, diets etc to enhance their appearance but that is because of a lack of knowledge and ignorance. It is only recently I done some research on the history of the ideal woman and suprisingly it goes back to many many years ago within slavery times. In those years the ideal woman should have had a thin nose, slim body frame, pert bust and silky long natural hair. Women would stuff their bras with tissue, bleach their hair & skin, straighten their hair etc. Now adays that has sligghtly changed. Bleaching is still on a rise, straigthening hair but now we have cosmetic surgery which is hugely expanding.

Some say the ideal woman is a woman with bleach blonde hair, big boobs and thin framed. Some say a woman with a small waist, curvy hips, tanned skin and big boobs, some say a woman who is thin all over........so which one is it?

I personally feel the media are a major influence on women & men! The media tends to show us what they believe is the ideal woman and so many of us are really taken by this to the point we begin to change the way we look to look like what we see on the tv and in magazines. The media tell women this is how you should look and they tell men this is what your girlfriend/wife/partner should look like.

The media are very aware of the strong influence they have on women and are very aware that women spend a lot of money on magazines, watching reality shows to look and feel like these women they see being advertised. For many years the media have promoted diets, exercise regimes, fashion musts and the ideal look a woman should have. What they fail to promote is what some of these things cause..... eating disorders, drug abuse, body strain, stress, debt, intense surgical procedures etc

Women are beginning to lose their own identities as they are trying so hard to be someone else, someone who society sees as beautiful. How many times do we see Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, Cheryl cole in magazines???? to be beautiful do we have to walk around with bright red hair? whitened teeth? full make up on? botox? what is it that we are actually telling ourselves?......................that we are not beautiful the way we are and that these celebs are beautiful?

Yes they are beautiful but we fail to realise that they are in the public eye and are put under so much pressure to look perfect on a daily basis. If they attempt to live a day being natural the media are so malicious and will say things to really break them. How we see them in a magazine or on tv is not how they look naturally there is a lot of hair, make up, styling and editing put in to their looks. I find it quite shocking how magazines will enhance body parts on a woman to make her look perfect, there are a lot of female celebs who notice this themselves and start to feel they need to change certain things on their bodies. celebs are influenced by what others say about them also, if anything they gain more insecurities than the average woman does. It is easier for them to reform their images as they have enough money to do all these surgical procedures and many plastic surgeons will not turn them away!

Plastic surgeons need money and will really make you believe that a little surgery can make you look better. But a little surgery can lead to multiple major surgeries this is what they will not tell you. There have been many incidents of surgeries gone wrong and once it has gone wrong sometimes it can never be fixed, sometimes it ends up in death!

I am not going to judge women who go through these surgeries. Some people say its ignorance, some say they are stupid or vain they simply have an insecurity. We all go through insecurities but we all react differently to our insecurities.
The best thing for us to do is be supportive and show them the pros and cons of changing their appearances. Watching the heidi montag video I felt proud of what she had to say, she does send out a positive and truthful message to women. What she went through must have been very hard, yes it was her choice but you need to consider what made her feel the need to change her looks in such a dramatic way in the first place. The answer is THE MEDIA!

It seems being natural is a disease in the modern world and being surgically enhanced is the way forward. If this is the case how do we know who we really are???