Every day we learn

I have not written a blog in a while and I have neglected my personal diary which is not healthy as I have a lot on my mind and need to release it before I explode. There is a lot that I have learnt the past few weeks, some from good situations and some from bad situations. But 1 thing I have really accepted and learnt is that where there is a negative there is a positive. within a negative situation you can find a positive.

So here goes.........

Well to start off with I have not had a steady job in a while and this is not by choice!, It just happens that I get settled in to a company and due to the lack of funding they either close down or they have to let a lot of people go, unfortunately I am 1 of those people. It has been very hard for me as I am so used to getting a fair flow of income coming in and I have had to deal with minimum income. It has been a bit hard as there is a lot that I need/ want and to gain these things I really need a decent amount of money coming in. I am not going to complain as I have been able to survive this year, I have managed to buy some of the little things that I want and go to some places which will be memorable. Also I know there are people with no form of income coming through and they are really struggling. My heart goes out to them as it is not easy, but what I must say is that the small time I have worked within these companies I have really enjoyed myself! I have never been in a work field which I have enjoyed with a passion!. the work staff were great, clients were lovely, the job itself was fun and really enjoyable. This is all down to me stating to an agency I applied to what I want to do and what I amnot comfortable doing. I believe you should do a job you enjoy so that your stress levels are non existent.
The great thing that has come out of this is I am looking for a career change and have been applying for jobs within the fields I am interested in, I have had an interview with 1 place that I feel I will work well in so we shall see. hopefully I get it! If not I will keep applying to jobs of my interest as I know I will get 1 of them and who knows it could be the right one forme! :)

Moving on to LOVE, well what can I say I did not get the response I wanted from the guy I liked, in fact how we felt about each other was completely different. I am going to be honest and say yes it really hurt and I was really upset about it, I felt like I had been led on but funny enough I am not hurting anymore. I will remain being nice to him and class him still as a friend but I know from how he feels I will not be taken advantage of, Sometimes when you express your feelings to someone they feel they can play mind games with you as you are some what naive and vulnerable due to your strong feelings for them. Its almost like they feel if they say jump you will, I am strong enough to say NO! and this is what I have done, I have said NO! I want to be respected, appreciated and loved and I believe I deserve this. If we are not meant to be I have to release my feelings for him so that I am able to embrace love for my real soulmate who is out there and I believe getting closer to me. For now I think we are friends, I will always care about him and have love for him but thats how far it goes.

Friendships???, this has been a mind boggle for me as this year I have been learning who my friends are and slowly the number is dropping 1 by 1. People are becoming more secretive, unsupportive, stabbing each other in the back and so on. I have chosen not to be apart of that cycle. I am at a point where I dont feel I have real friends, I feel I have a lot of aquaintances. For years so called friends have used me as a shoulder to cry on, or for my contacts/networks, or just to be around someone positive that motivates them. I have even noticed some of my future plans which included some of my friends they have run off, taken the ideas and started businesses using these ideas, my 1st reaction was anger, then hurt but after really thinking about It I have to laugh. There is a lot of people that step all over each other to make it out on top, Its like a rat race! I am simply not one of those people. I am in no rush to achieve my major goals as I know a lot of hard work has to be put in to it and to achieve it a lot of research, studying, marketing etc has to be done. It takes time to build a succesful career for some people quicker than others and that is if they are brought up in to a very wealthy family, or they are at the right place at the right time!. that is not the case for me and I am a bit of a perfectionist so i like to make sure things are done properly. I am going to do what I know is right and be supportive of their careers, I wish them all the best and I hope they are happy. Some people may think I am crazy for doing this but in all honesty I can still use the original ideas, I am continuously getting more ideas and so I can put it all together and create something very succesful, something that I will love and feel very proud of. I really believe in myself and I feel I am going down the right route in life. I am not going to give up just because I have competition or because some people want to see me fail, this is my life and I control my life and I want the best in life and the best to me is happiness, love and success.

Once again: ASK, BELIEVE, RECIEVE!

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